i made it.

sometimes it is really hard for me to be in social gatherings. i want to see friends and hang out, but i still feel so awkward without mark... i get emotionally exhausted from interacting, and sometimes it is really hard to be with our "couple" friends when i am now a single mom.
but i was brave today, stepped out of my cocoon of comfort. i went to a birthday party with the girls. they had a blast with all of their friends! i also had fun catching up with friends. it wasn't as awkward as i expected.
i am now reallyreallyreally tired, but the point is, i made it! yesss!

p.s. i am taking another art course, starting monday, & i'm so stoked! i expect to learn so much, have fun, & grow!

holding me down.

i am proud of myself. this past week, i tried some art techniques that i had been wanting to do. you know when fear sometimes just holds you down? yeah, well i'd been browsing through my art magazines, loving the colors & techniques, wondering how i could get something similar out, but afraid of even trying. pitiful, i know, but truthfully i was not feeling up to par. fear of failure... so when i finally took a few minutes & just started pulling supplies out & cutting & slathering paints in my art journal, it was a freeing moment. yesss! it was that easy to accomplish the look i had been wanting! and for a month, i was held down by fear. wow. and in 30 minutes, i was free!!!

tonight, i ponder what other things might be holding me down... and how i can be free of their hold on me.

art does this to me: causes me to think, reflect, and soothes the pain.