Thursday, March 31, 2011

unbroken.

this last week i have been missing... people. people who are no longer a part of my life... no more texts, phone calls, walks, laughter. no more friendship. 90% of the time, grief is overwhelming. makes me feel broken & alone & incomplete. missing. i am saddened by these few people who have chosen to walk away. i try to understand yet another "why," this why. i try to remember that everything happens for a reason, even people coming & going from my life. i finished another painting tonight. titled "unbroken." i have to remain unbroken through this all, even if i feel broken...

Thursday, March 17, 2011

little steps...

so, what did you do today to celebrate st. patty's day?
i headed over to some friends' house for lunch, beer, & painting... it was a great afternoon/evening!
i also used a bag [for art supplies] that i had not used in close to 2 years. odd sounding i know, but some deep, sentimental reasons it has not been emptied & used until today. i felt good about this little step. i put my new prismacolors & stabilios in there, along with a moleskine. sort of a re-christening.
i realize that each "little step" i take, walks me through the grief. i just need to keep moving, and today this is how i moved....

Saturday, March 12, 2011

sparked.

it's been awhile, hasn't it? ;) but here i am, finally!
this past week i have been reflecting on what sparked my creativity as a child. i could write "my family" in here & that would be the truth! but what has stood out to me these last few days, is a green, tin bread box, that was housed in a tin shed. a shed that was located in my back yard. this green tin, was overflowing with tubes of paints! my dad's paints from when he was in art school. i would itch to get my hands on them every time we had to park out bikes in that shed.
i was very intrigued and couldn't wait to have a tin full of my own "real" paints!=)
now, i have a room full of my own paints & supplies, but it is so hugely inspiring & special to recall all those moments i opened that shed & saw those paints & heard them calling my name!!!
the green, tin bead box, is now sitting in my parents' kitchen. high above the cabinets. and every once in a while, when my eyes land on it, i smile inside myself, and remember when it was full of colorful, delightful paints!