Tuesday, December 20, 2011


sometimes I forget I have twins… I know this is strange, but I do! I see my two 8 year olds as individuals! when people ask if they are identical, I think I give a blank stare. yes, they are, but they are so unique, each lovely, little girls. one loves orange, the other pink. one laughs gleefully & so free, the other worries about things only adults should worry about!=) they both love art & creating [hmmm, wonder where they get that from?], & playing outside. beautiful tomboys…

once we were eating at a restaurant with my mom & I felt like everyone was staring. I said, “why are people staring at us?” the 8 year olds go, “they’re probably wondering if we’re twins.” my 5 year old said, “no, they’re looking at me!” when we’re out & about I feel like the freak show! you might even hear me mutter, “welcome to the freak show!” =)

just wanted to share a little moment with you...

Thursday, November 17, 2011


I absolutely LOVE this piece of art/quote & wanted to share it with you! it is by mae chevrette…

Holiday Sale - 16 x 20 paper print - The Cure for Anything Is Salt Water - inspirational ocean artwork, beach word art typography poster

you can purchase this print at http://www.etsy.com/listing/76774565/holiday-sale-the-cure-for-anything-is?ref=pr_shop

be sure to check her other pieces out as well!!! ♥

Thursday, September 29, 2011



sometimes we wonder why we’ve gone through hurts, why we now carry scars, why life has been so hard… sometimes we do not feel adequate to have blessings bestowed upon us, & pride shuts us down…

in these moments of wonderings & not feeling adequate, I reflect… I think if I hadn’t gone through all of this pain & bear my scars for the world to see, that I wouldn’t understand grace & peace & forgiveness & love. I wouldn’t have compassion & empathy for others who walk through the same places I have been. I wouldn’t understand…

sometimes I feel bitter & hardened. but then this blinding light floods my soul & I know I’m still alive & receptive to Love. there is hope in the darkness, light at the end of the tunnel, salve for all the wounds… we can bear our scars & share life, love, & why with those around us.

sometimes we have to remember, we were made for such a time as this… we may not feel brave & hopeful. but we are! we never know how much until we have to walk deep in the valleys of life… but when we climb out & stand on top of the mountain & look at the view? we will find it was all worth it. the pain, wounds, sorrows – they will all be complete & laughter will swallow our tears…

Friday, September 2, 2011


i have been bad at updating & making videos. =/ so much life, not enough time it seems! but in all actuality, i have just been living life slowly: learning to savor & ponder more & rush less. listening to more music, taking more walks, less tv. more writing, more art, more learning... laying in the hammock relaxing, thinking over the day & praying. i feel as if my mind & heart are being blown wide open. some days it is hard to be "wide open" because the darkness is my friend & i trudge. & some days it is so easy to be filled with joy in this state. but either way, either day, i am learning to find the beautiful, even in the ugly. especially in the ugly, dark, deep grief places of me.

i am in a place of finding joy, grace, & thanksgiving in the journey...

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

deeply moved.

Ellison 18 in. Evolution Easy-Push Reel Mower with Adjustable Grass Management System- my dream lawn mower!=) [photo courtesy of homedepot.com]

yes, we start this entry with a picture of a lawn mower. makes you wonder doesn’t it???

well, I have been deeply moved by some things this past week…

#1. the neighbor’s son keeps mowing this little patch of grass by my driveway. it’s a pain for me to mow, because I have to push the mower across the driveway. a tiny patch of grass. takes smidgen of time to mow, but I fight it every time! so a few weeks ago, I notice the patch doesn’t need mowing. hmmm… strange. today, I hear a mower kick up & come close to my house. I peek out the window. he’s mowing & doesn’t stop when he gets to the “invisible” property line. I watched. it made me well up. dude doesn’t know how this little act of kindness makes me feel so amazingly blessed.

#2. I grabbed mail out of the box friday. there’s a card waiting, from a woman I have met only once & talked to briefly. she wrote this heartfelt note, so there I stood at the mail box crying. feeling so amazed & so “why me?!?”. you see, she got a bonus at work & felt led to bless us with some of it!

#3. friendships & turns in the road. I have always believed every person/friendship/situation in our life happens for a reason. no matter how small or big… people do not know how much their simple words & actions mean to me. I am in a very thankful mode right now, & it seems like everything is amazing & is blessing me. even the hard moments. when I get through every moment & look back & reflect, I learn so much. I learn to be a better person. to be more gracious, understanding & forgiving to those around me & to myself.

may this week be filled with small tid-bits that inspire & deeply move you.

Monday, July 25, 2011

fear & hope.

so many things have been swirling around in my head. do you ever have trouble shutting your brain off?? I do!

lately, I have been thinking about deep issues, really pondering my emotions & life. fear & hope. I finished painting this girl saturday night. she had been in the works for over a week… she was helping me sift through my pain. the story behind her is quite deep, almost to the point where I can only “feel” it & not explain it.

moss, wash, GIRLS, ART 021

she holds fear & hope in her eyes… she’s uncertain of life & the future & you can see the fear. but she has hope in her eyes, too, & occasionally you can see flashes of it… a balance & an intertwinement.

so, in those moments when words evade me, & emotions overtake me, I have learned to use graphite & paints & papers, to communicate with myself & the world.

may the feelings of hope, rather than fear, envelope us & hold us near. ♥

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

bits & pieces.

last night & tonight i was able to do art. grabbing bits of paper, text, mail & some paint & doing these in about 10 minutes. learning to quickly grab & configure & paste things down without too much thought. the simplicity is so freeing.

yesterday's piece was all about grace - giving ourselves some grace & those around us. tonight's was about peace after a frustrating day.

yup. just some bits & pieces of grace & peace, my friends.

Monday, July 11, 2011


i am in a place of waiting. waiting to see what happens with some stress in my life...
waiting is always so hard. in our society we have the mentality of rush-rush & drive thrus & NOW! waiting is uncomfortable. it pushes you. makes you reflect & ponder, maybe on things we do not wish to think about. waiting makes you agitated, listless, out of sorts. at least this is the case for me. i wish i could drive past a window that handed out easy-solutions, with a large sweet tea or a soy caramel macchiato!!!=) wouldn't that be awesome?!?!

"God whispers to us in our joy & shouts to us in our pain." [C.S. Lewis]
sometimes when things are going well we are not aware of the important things in life. but when we are in a painful place, we become aware of what matters.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

envelopes & tea.

this afternoon i made a set of envelopes for my etsy shop. i love the feel of paper in my hands... paper crafting is my go-to art when i am in need of creativity in a different form [other than my norm of mixed-media, paint].

also, i entered a contest on TEAVANA's website. i created a blend of tea. i had the privilege of sharing several cups of this tea with a friend last week & i am hooked. so if you would "like"/vote for my tea blend "presumptuous" i would greatly appreciate it! i am currently in 2nd place! http://connect.teavana.com/contest/TeaBlend/Details/Presumptuous/76

have a spectacular day!

Sunday, July 3, 2011


I do not think of myself as hospitable. I think of myself as cluttered, bohemian. [is that even a term?!?] I am a full-time mom, full-time teacher, artist, homemaker. I used to do this all with a partner, but now I do it alone. it is the adjustment of taking on all the chores vs. splitting them, of making cleaning fun because we laughed through it – hard.

a few weeks back a close friend said that I had the gift of hospitality. “are you kidding me? I think you’re confusing me with my mom,” I said. “no, no, seriously you have that gift. you always have coffee, biscotti, and an extra stool in the studio.” wow. that warmed my heart.

then just last night, two people dropped by. two of my students, who are grown up now & engaged. we shared a pot of coffee. the girl says, “I love your place. it’s so homey.” through my eyes it is a cluttered abyss of legos, shoes, paper clutter, etc. through her eyes it was homey. she genuinely felt comfortable here.

we are a family of readers which contributes to the clutter. on my coffee table you will always find my big, blue dictionary, and a few gem & mineral resource books, magazines, novels [my escape hatch]… you may also find a stack of art journals with glue sticks, scissors & magazines on the kitchen table.

ETSY & blog picts 007

I recently read something ann voskamp wrote: “homemaking is about making a home, not about making perfection. a perfect home is an authentic, creative, animated space. where Peace and Christ and Beauty are embraced. {perfect does not equate to immaculate.}”

I am learning to be myself & accept who I am. I may be a different sort of homemaker, but I’m okay with that.

Thursday, June 30, 2011


tonight, this inspired me. i savor it. i have been looking in all the nooks & crannies for my creativity to show itself... i get bursts of ideas that seem to fizzle before my hand reaches the pencils, paints, & paper. i wonder what is wrong with me? nothing. this is just a season, a phase.

even in the trudging, remember to look up at the stars. savor the simple things in life. hold on... something excellent is right around the corner!

Monday, June 13, 2011


i have wanted to write so may things lately. profound & deep, but i was away from the computer all of last week. i wrote many things in my journal & spent a lot of time quietly pondering...

honestly, i have been struggling::: being very sad & distraught. finally, today there was a break-through. i finally feel a bit more like myself.

i have a friend [sara] that reminds me, when i am in my dark times, that something is right around the corner. how true...

i often struggle & grieve, just to have something simple & amazing steal my breath away. a color makes me smile, or a song makes me feel empowered, or exercising makes me feel so alive.

i am learning, in the darkness, to be thankful & look up at the stars.

Monday, May 16, 2011

love: the art piece.


saturday, I created an art piece on a recycled book cover with graphite, aquarelle, acrylic, ink and rub ons. I embellished it with recycled wire & fibers…

creating is a very interesting process… as I was painting this, I really thought I messed it up twice, but as you can see it turned out! that is the exciting thing about art. when you think you have failed, you mostly succeed. something good comes of mistakes if we just forge ahead!

art 001


art 003

Thursday, May 5, 2011

be still.

some things are just meant to be... against all odds, no matter what those around you think or say. and in the midst of the chaos swirling around you, hold on. wait. be still. listen.
i can't tell you that it will all work out perfectly the way you've dreamed it -- it might not feel okay at first, but it will work out.
i know this to be true...

Monday, April 18, 2011

garden time.

today, I spent some time weeding out dead, rotten aloe vera in one of my garden beds. aloe vera stinks when it is rotted… smells sort of like some bad alcohol. I may have gotten a buzz. =p

anyways, during the 2 hours I was out there digging & pulling, I started mulling some stuff over, as one often does while in the garden.

we put our roots down so deep, that when we have change in our lives, & feel ourselves being up-rooted, we fight it with all we’ve got. a force [God] is pulling at us, wanting to move us, relocate us, better us… possibly put us in a better protected place, a shaded spot, a restful place.

aloe veras have deep, strong roots, and as I was pulling them, I thought of this. how I might fight, when I need to just surrender. sometimes it is okay to be uprooted.

spring yard 034

Thursday, March 31, 2011


this last week i have been missing... people. people who are no longer a part of my life... no more texts, phone calls, walks, laughter. no more friendship. 90% of the time, grief is overwhelming. makes me feel broken & alone & incomplete. missing. i am saddened by these few people who have chosen to walk away. i try to understand yet another "why," this why. i try to remember that everything happens for a reason, even people coming & going from my life. i finished another painting tonight. titled "unbroken." i have to remain unbroken through this all, even if i feel broken...

Thursday, March 17, 2011

little steps...

so, what did you do today to celebrate st. patty's day?
i headed over to some friends' house for lunch, beer, & painting... it was a great afternoon/evening!
i also used a bag [for art supplies] that i had not used in close to 2 years. odd sounding i know, but some deep, sentimental reasons it has not been emptied & used until today. i felt good about this little step. i put my new prismacolors & stabilios in there, along with a moleskine. sort of a re-christening.
i realize that each "little step" i take, walks me through the grief. i just need to keep moving, and today this is how i moved....

Saturday, March 12, 2011


it's been awhile, hasn't it? ;) but here i am, finally!
this past week i have been reflecting on what sparked my creativity as a child. i could write "my family" in here & that would be the truth! but what has stood out to me these last few days, is a green, tin bread box, that was housed in a tin shed. a shed that was located in my back yard. this green tin, was overflowing with tubes of paints! my dad's paints from when he was in art school. i would itch to get my hands on them every time we had to park out bikes in that shed.
i was very intrigued and couldn't wait to have a tin full of my own "real" paints!=)
now, i have a room full of my own paints & supplies, but it is so hugely inspiring & special to recall all those moments i opened that shed & saw those paints & heard them calling my name!!!
the green, tin bead box, is now sitting in my parents' kitchen. high above the cabinets. and every once in a while, when my eyes land on it, i smile inside myself, and remember when it was full of colorful, delightful paints!

Friday, February 4, 2011

blank canvas.

today, i was reminded to mellow out... i was able to share & get some intense emotions out. and then i was okay. i was able to laugh. sometimes things get to us, more than usual, because we're just having a bad day to begin with & everything snowballs. yup. that's what happened to me today... then this text message threw me for a loop... it took a few hours for me to get out of that slump.
i'm good now. i'm glad the day is over & things will be all fresh in the morning... like a blank, white canvas.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

i made it.

sometimes it is really hard for me to be in social gatherings. i want to see friends and hang out, but i still feel so awkward without mark... i get emotionally exhausted from interacting, and sometimes it is really hard to be with our "couple" friends when i am now a single mom.
but i was brave today, stepped out of my cocoon of comfort. i went to a birthday party with the girls. they had a blast with all of their friends! i also had fun catching up with friends. it wasn't as awkward as i expected.
i am now reallyreallyreally tired, but the point is, i made it! yesss!

p.s. i am taking another art course, starting monday, & i'm so stoked! i expect to learn so much, have fun, & grow!

Monday, January 3, 2011

holding me down.

i am proud of myself. this past week, i tried some art techniques that i had been wanting to do. you know when fear sometimes just holds you down? yeah, well i'd been browsing through my art magazines, loving the colors & techniques, wondering how i could get something similar out, but afraid of even trying. pitiful, i know, but truthfully i was not feeling up to par. fear of failure... so when i finally took a few minutes & just started pulling supplies out & cutting & slathering paints in my art journal, it was a freeing moment. yesss! it was that easy to accomplish the look i had been wanting! and for a month, i was held down by fear. wow. and in 30 minutes, i was free!!!

tonight, i ponder what other things might be holding me down... and how i can be free of their hold on me.

art does this to me: causes me to think, reflect, and soothes the pain.