fear & hope.

so many things have been swirling around in my head. do you ever have trouble shutting your brain off?? I do!

lately, I have been thinking about deep issues, really pondering my emotions & life. fear & hope. I finished painting this girl saturday night. she had been in the works for over a week… she was helping me sift through my pain. the story behind her is quite deep, almost to the point where I can only “feel” it & not explain it.

she holds fear & hope in her eyes… she’s uncertain of life & the future & you can see the fear. but she has hope in her eyes, too, & occasionally you can see flashes of it… a balance & an intertwinement.

so, in those moments when words evade me, & emotions overtake me, I have learned to use graphite & paints & papers, to communicate with myself & the world.

may the feelings of hope, rather than fear, envelope us & hold us near. ♥

bits & pieces.

last night & tonight i was able to do art. grabbing bits of paper, text, mail & some paint & doing these in about 10 minutes. learning to quickly grab & configure & paste things down without too much thought. the simplicity is so freeing.

yesterday's piece was all about grace - giving ourselves some grace & those around us. tonight's was about peace after a frustrating day.

yup. just some bits & pieces of grace & peace, my friends.

waiting.

i am in a place of waiting. waiting to see what happens with some stress in my life...
waiting is always so hard. in our society we have the mentality of rush-rush & drive thrus & NOW! waiting is uncomfortable. it pushes you. makes you reflect & ponder, maybe on things we do not wish to think about. waiting makes you agitated, listless, out of sorts. at least this is the case for me. i wish i could drive past a window that handed out easy-solutions, with a large sweet tea or a soy caramel macchiato!!!=) wouldn't that be awesome?!?!

"God whispers to us in our joy & shouts to us in our pain." [C.S. Lewis]
sometimes when things are going well we are not aware of the important things in life. but when we are in a painful place, we become aware of what matters.

envelopes & tea.

this afternoon i made a set of envelopes for my etsy shop. i love the feel of paper in my hands... paper crafting is my go-to art when i am in need of creativity in a different form [other than my norm of mixed-media, paint].

also, i entered a contest on TEAVANA's website. i created a blend of tea. i had the privilege of sharing several cups of this tea with a friend last week & i am hooked. so if you would "like"/vote for my tea blend "presumptuous" i would greatly appreciate it! i am currently in 2nd place! http://connect.teavana.com/contest/TeaBlend/Details/Presumptuous/76

have a spectacular day!

hospitality.

I do not think of myself as hospitable. I think of myself as cluttered, bohemian. [is that even a term?!?] I am a full-time mom, full-time teacher, artist, homemaker. I used to do this all with a partner, but now I do it alone. it is the adjustment of taking on all the chores vs. splitting them, of making cleaning fun because we laughed through it – hard.

a few weeks back a close friend said that I had the gift of hospitality. “are you kidding me? I think you’re confusing me with my mom,” I said. “no, no, seriously you have that gift. you always have coffee, biscotti, and an extra stool in the studio.” wow. that warmed my heart.

then just last night, two people dropped by. two of my students, who are grown up now & engaged. we shared a pot of coffee. the girl says, “I love your place. it’s so homey.” through my eyes it is a cluttered abyss of legos, shoes, paper clutter, etc. through her eyes it was homey. she genuinely felt comfortable here.

we are a family of readers which contributes to the clutter. on my coffee table you will always find my big, blue dictionary, and a few gem & mineral resource books, magazines, novels [my escape hatch]… you may also find a stack of art journals with glue sticks, scissors & magazines on the kitchen table.

I recently read something ann voskamp wrote: “homemaking is about making a home, not about making perfection. a perfect home is an authentic, creative, animated space. where Peace and Christ and Beauty are embraced. {perfect does not equate to immaculate.}”

I am learning to be myself & accept who I am. I may be a different sort of homemaker, but I’m okay with that.